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Self-Esteem problem?

April 20, 2011

I’ve had a number of clients recently with very low self esteem. It’s sad to think there are so many people out there who just don’t realise how wonderful they really are! I thought today I’d offer some thoughts that may help.

Self-esteem is not just about recognising your excellent qualities. It’s being able to see all your good points and weaknesses together, acknowledging them, and doing your best with what you have. You may not be the best golfer in the world, but that shouldn’t stop you enjoying playing the game!
When you have low self-esteem, you feel unworthy of attention. The world seems like an unfriendly place, full of people who will ignore you or treat you badly. People with lower self-esteem often put others down, including family or friends. Very often they tell me things like “anyone I like wouldn’t like me so anyone who does like me isn’t worth bothering with “. People who feel worthless think that they have nothing to contribute.

One way to boost your self-esteem is to consider your good points. What are you really good at? What are your skills and interests? How would a close friend describe you?
Here’s an exercise you might find helpful:
Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Write the following headings:

1. Good points
2. Bad points

Remember that we all have our positive and negative sides. Even the person with the lowest self-esteem can find at least one good point!
List your good and bad points under the headings. Your bad points might include things you have difficulty doing, things you don’t like about your thoughts etc.
When you’ve done that, change the heading on the “Bad points” column to “Things I Need To Improve”. Number them in order of difficulty, making the easiest first and make a commitment to start today. Remember this is about YOU not the rest of the world. Only you can make the choice to change. Once you get the first improvement made the rest get easier and easier.

It’s important to celebrate our strengths and build on our weak points to help us mature and grow. Do the best you can rather than aiming for an unattainable perfection which only makes you feel bad about yourself. Aiming for better self-esteem helps you to do better, and also to feel better.
Other people play an important part in how we feel about ourselves. If low self-esteem is a problem for you, think about your current relationships. Who undermines your self-confidence? Who helps you feel really good about yourself – at work, at home?
Develop friendships that make you feel good. Making changes in your relationships can be an effective way to increase self-esteem – but it is rarely easy. It takes courage to grow.

Tel: 08444 125 812

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